The part in Ali Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis, the book, that took me the most by surprise when I read it back in 2021 wasn’t any of the grander plot elements, or any particular line of dialogue. It was, instead, a moment of internal narration that suggested that our heroine, Olive Smith, wasn’t the type to feel sexually attracted to a person she didn’t feel a genuine emotional bond or connection with. As someone who, at the time, had only recently found a word to describe the way I feel about relationships, having one of the protagonists of a major romance novel identify as demisexual on the page — even if the book didn’t explicitly name it as such — was huge for me.
While the moment hit especially close to home in the book, I had zero expectations of having that element of Olive’s character make the leap to the screen in the Prime Video adaptation of the novel. It’s such a quick moment, and it’s never spoken out loud. I’m more than aware that things need to change in adaptation, and that was one thing that I had completely expected to be a casualty of the adaptation process. Except that it wasn’t.
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About a third of the way into the movie, Olive’s friend and roommate Malcolm has found out about her supposed relationship with Dr. Adam Carlsen, with whom Malcolm does not get along. He comes into her room to talk about it, telling her he forgives her for sleeping with his nemesis, as he acknowledges that it’s hard for “demisexuals” even to find someone they want to have sex with in the first place. Though Malcolm uses the term to describe Olive, it’s not a term she’s familiar with, and the film uses this as a way to define the word demisexual to the audience at large, explaining that people who are demisexual are looking for “love” before having sex with a person.
I don’t personally take issue with Olive having this aspect of herself defined for her. Short of having her internal monologue throughout the whole movie, something as conceptual as demisexuality needs to be spoken out loud. Having it be Malcolm who first uses the term with Olive, rather than having Olive explain it to him, tracks for me. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know, and as far as she’s concerned, needing an emotional connection, or love, even, is the default, and she operates under the assumption that it’s the same for everyone.
It’s easy for me to wish there had been more of this element throughout the movie, but I think it’s threaded through as well as can be expected. When Olive and Adam first make their fake dating arrangement, Adam says that he doesn’t pursue a real relationship because they can be time-consuming, while Olive’s reason for not doing the same is that she finds relationships confusing. This isn’t to say that demisexual people don’t understand what a relationship is or how they work — we absolutely do — but especially nowadays, when sex is expected to play a big role in relationships from very early on, sometimes even without the existence of an actual committed relationship, that becomes a harder line to walk. It’s not that Olive doesn’t understand how to be with another person; it’s that the hypothetical other person is operating from a completely different point of view to Olive’s own, a point of view she doesn’t even fully realize that other people have, and that makes those dynamics trickier to navigate.
But fake dating also lends itself very well to demisexuality, since the entire thing hinges on public couple behavior, with no expectation of things following them into the private sphere. They are forced to spend time together, socially and in conversation, and in doing that, Olive and Adam form a very close bond, one of friendship and mutual understanding, and eventually of love. They take the time to get to know each other, to build that connection, so when they finally give in to their feelings in the conference hotel room, we, the audience, know how real this is for them, and for Olive especially. She was waiting for love, and she found it.
This is not to say that romance with non-demisexual characters is somehow less loving, or their friendships less convincing, absolutely not. But the way Olive’s sexuality is presented in The Love Hypothesis is some much-needed representation for demisexuals who find themselves constantly having to explain it to others, and having to clarify that no, everyone is not like that. It is beautiful to see because the way Olive feels, and the way she approaches relationships, never once hinders the progression of her relationship with Adam. While it’s not something she explains to him on screen, she still trusts him enough to take that next step that she wouldn’t take with most people. It means so much to me, and so many other asexual readers and viewers, to see a character with feelings and a sexuality similar to our own be taken seriously by her friends and her eventual partner. It is beautiful and encouraging, and while they didn’t have to include it, we are forever grateful that they did.
The Love Hypothesis is now streaming on Prime Video.
First Featured Image Credit: ©Prime Video