[Filling the Space is a flexible column where our writers could vent, deconstruct, and work their way around the emotions brought on by TV, films, books, music, and key moments in pop culture. This isn’t meant to be analytical, but instead, a way for us to explore our feelings.]
I kept putting off writing some sort of a review for Noah Kahan’s The Great Divide because, as it turns out, I still feel too much and cannot for the life of me find the right words. My heart is still in my throat, and I feel like I’m drowning in a whole bunch of feelings I wasn’t ready to confront before the album came out.
The sad eldest daughter in me is having a field day, and I feel weirdly guilty about all these feelings, too. Like, I shouldn’t be this sad and nostalgic, and I should just get over it. But here we are. The first time I heard “All Them Horses,” I cried so much it was slightly concerning. And then “Standing Still?” “Doors?” “Dan?” I miss my cat, and she’s sitting right next to me.
As a writer, I feel like I should have a profound, lengthy breakdown about just how deep this album is hitting, but I can’t find the words because it feels like Kahan already has. But I also just really like this space we’re existing in because it feels a little less lonely. The day the album was released, my entire Threads feed was full of people crying about it, and it felt really nice that we were all experiencing so many overwhelming feelings together. See, these are the times I love the internet most.
Maybe that’s the thing. I’m a romance author, and even as a journalist, I’ve written countless articles about vulnerability and why it’s a strength. Yet, sometimes, that vulnerability feels so intimate and heart-wrenching, I don’t know what to do with it. Like, if you’d told little old me that she’d be this open to sharing her feelings with the internet, she’d be mortified. She was so used to bottling everything up that she couldn’t even talk to her best friends about her emotions. Yet, here I am, in my thirties, constantly yapping about my feelings and feeling way too much all the time.
And in a lot of ways, Noah Kahan’s The Great Divide feels like an honest reflection of the emotions we’re all scared of confronting. The truths we’re scared of saying out loud. I think it’s why “All Them Horses” destroys me so hard because it’s just so…raw. It reminds me of everything I left behind and the dreams I don’t know if I’ll achieve, and it reminds me of all the people I love. It reminds me of why I love storytelling and how we connect with other people time and time again. There’s something so wildly beautiful about the shared joy and heartache. Lastly, now stay with me, this album reminds me of Steve Harrington, and if you know anything about me, you know how deeply I love him, so here’s another reason why this album keeps punching me in the guts.
Anyway, please come cry about Noah Kahan’s The Great Divide with me in the comments below.