Before “hot boy summer” goes into full swing, we’ve been enjoying “DILF spring.” And we’re not ashamed to admit it! From The Pitt to The Last of Us; from Étoile to Rivals and even out to the messed-up world of The White Lotus, middle-aged men on TV are having a moment. The characters garnering fandom from across a broad cross-section of viewers aren’t trendy up-and-comers, but veteran actors in or just past their 40s.
Despite the tongue-in-cheek internet thirst, it’s not actually about these characters’ physical looks. Well, for the most part. It’s the way they’re characterized that makes them both deeply fascinating as characters and deeply attractive to those who are into men. And honestly? More TV shows and movies could learn a thing or two from their viral appeal.
Competency + Vulnerability = The Perfect Combination
In the past (and a fair bit of the present), middle-aged men on TV mostly fell into a couple of archetypes. You’d have the snide bosses, the bumbling husbands, and the understanding (or not-so-understanding) dads. Yes, there were exceptions, especially once the age of prestige TV came into being — but that tended to bring us more antiheroes, not charmers.
That’s what sets apart the latest batch of middle-aged men on TV. They’re not obnoxious or out-of-touch buffoons. They’re highly competent and yet highly respectful of the people around them, too. Why are there endless fancams and thirsty posts breaking containment about The Pitt‘s Dr. Robby (Noah Wyle) and Dr. Abbot (Shawn Hatosy)? Sure, there are GIFs galore focused on Robby’s hands and Abbot’s arms. But the real appeal lies in how they treat everyone. It’s Robby’s modeling of vulnerability-as-strength after a traumatizing day. It’s Abbot’s matter-of-fact confidence in Samira Mohan’s abilities. We know they know they’re the best, but more importantly, they respect those capabilities in others.
If any actor working has cornered the soulful-yet-competent DILF market, it’s gotta be Pedro Pascal. In 2025 alone, he’s pulling double duty as traumatized post-apocalyptic badass Joel Miller on The Last of Us and superpowered wife-guy Reed Richards in The Fantastic Four: First Steps. Pascal’s easy charm is a natural fit for these complicated guys who just want to protect their loved ones — but not in a gross, possessive way.
It’s All About the Yearning
I am but a simple woman: I see a male character who looks with that soulful gaze, and I’m sold. You all know exactly the kind of look I’m talking about. And the internet’s favorite middle-aged men on TV know, too.
Those yearning gazes let us fill in the gaps of The Pitt‘s Robby-Collins relationship without having to devote soapy dialogue to it. Held gazes and tender touches turn Andor‘s Cassian and Bix into the best Star Wars romance since Han and Leia. Yearning looks and tortured dialogue gave Rivals a ship to remember in Rupert and Taggie (and that’s not even touching on Aidan Turner’s brusque, hot-tempered Declan). That’s the dynamic that has garnered George Russell, aka The Gilded Age‘s “railroad daddy,” so many fans. He may be a ruthless robber baron, but he’s a ruthless robber baron who worships the ground his (equally ruthless) wife Bertha walks on.
Arguably, no one on TV has the look down quite like Luke Kirby. After honing it as the profoundly romantic Lenny on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, he brings it back with a vengeance (and hopefully, a happier ending) for the ballet comedy Étoile.
As harried ballet manager Jack McMillan, Kirby delivers those signature stares towards not one, but two women. Jack sneaks soft, yearning gazes at on-and-off paramour Geneviève when he thinks she’s not looking. Later, his intense, emotionally-charged locked gazes with ex-fling Cheyenne crackle with pure electricity. Both are strong, complicated, messy women in positions of strength and influence. And that’s a big part of what draws Jack to both of them (because, let’s face it, he’s a hot mess).
Perhaps these characters’ ages are just a coincidence — or perhaps it’s necessary to show a more mature relationship dynamic. And, for the men, perhaps they need that time to show more security in their own masculinity and selves.
Confidence in an Age of Insecurity
Ask any woman who’s been on dating apps lately (hi, it’s me!) Even when men are, ostensibly, trying to impress women, the way they present themselves often feels like they’re secretly trying to impress other men. Combined with virulent misogyny on the rise, it feels more than ever like there’s a massive, gendered lack of understanding.
The thirst for these middle-aged men on TV underlines what we’ve all been trying to say. Confidence is appealing! A stellar personality and treating others like people are preferable to looking like a sterile superhero devoid of sex appeal, personality traits, and carbs. Of course, the real trick is ensuring the confidence doesn’t become arrogance. No one likes people (or characters) who can’t laugh at themselves or show self-doubt. When Étoile‘s Jack calls himself “a fucking loser,” we think the same — but with affection. When The Pitt‘s Robby has a (frankly Emmy-worthy) meltdown, we don’t think less of him — we sympathize. It’s the fine line between whining insecurity and honest self-deprecation.
What can we learn from the current crop of swoonworthy TV dudes? One: write more men who are in touch with their emotions. Two: tap into chemistry, because we always notice, and we could use more genuine sparks in fiction today. And three? Thirst has no age limit!
First Featured Image (Collage) Credit: Individual Images Courtesy of ©Max, ©Disney, @Prime Video